TOXIC PEOPLE — Why they come into your life!

How to identify toxic people, how to deal with them, and what you can learn from the experience.

Have you ever been around a person that just didn’t make you feel good?Instead you felt uneasy and off around them but couldn’t quite put your finger on the reason why?

You might have been dealing with a toxic person.

It is not surprising that we see more and more toxic people around us as the global pandemic is raging and bringing many individuals to their breaking point, getting frustrated with anxiety and fear and letting it out on others around them. We live in a society run by selfish people who are mostly out for their own good, giving little empathic thought to those around them, especially in times of crisis.

My way or the highway!

Toxic people are not capable of handling their own emotions. They use others to release their negative energies for them through manipulation and invalidation in any given situation. This behavior most likely stems from childhood if they were never taught to get in touch or communicate their feelings and project them on others instead in order to appear perfect, strong or invincible. It can be temporary due to circumstance or chronic in form of a personality disorder. Oftentimes this behavior stems from existential fears and attachment issues when it comes to changes and instability in life. Instead of riding with the waves, a toxic person gets stuck in the traumatic events of life, trying to control the outcome by manipulation. Overtime, if they don’t change, their heart hardens and becomes cold and bitter.

Does this resonate with you?

There is a good change you have some toxicity inside of you, especially if you have been around toxic people for a long time, such as friends, partners, or family members. We take on the traits of people around us naturally and act upon them, too. This is a good way to adapt to our surroundings but can be very destructive if we don’t pay attention and start changing into someone we are actually not. This is were you might become toxic.

If you are generally an optimistic person, a toxic person can turn you into a pessimist overtime, and you start doing and saying things that seem inauthentic to you. You might very feel tired or irritated if you are exposed to them regularly. Toxic people are emotionally and physically draining!

Let’s look at 5 types of toxic people to be aware of:

The Toxic Controller

· Always wants to be right

· Needs you to take on their opinion

· Wants to be in charge of the conversation

The Negative Moper

· Responds to everything with doubt

· Is generally pessimistic

· They suck you into gossip

The Drama Queen

· Complains all the time

· Always plays the victim

· Creates problems when there are none

The Jealous Type

· Always has to “one up” you in conversations

· Is very judgmental

· Using criticism constantly

The Smart Butt

· Is always right

· Uses arrogant language and attitude

· Never sees you on eyelevel but beneath them

Now, how do you deal with these people?

If you encounter them in daily life, it is easiest to just walk away.

If it is in a professional setting, you have to follow a strategy to deal with the situation: limit your time working with them or being around them!

If this is in a family setting: identify the triggers that get to you and talk to them about it, see if you can resolve the issue.

If this is in a relationship: consider talking to them but if they don’t see their wrongdoing or change their behavior, walk away!

Set you boundaries and stick to them! Toxic people will overstep your boundaries frequently and then blame you for not setting them in the first place.

So why do toxic people exist?

Toxic people come into our lives to teach us a lesson: How NOT to be!

It takes at least two people to create a dynamic. What is toxic for you might not be toxic for someone else. On a spiritual level, a toxic person can be of great help to show you how to become a better person by not being like them. And of course, our behavior is most often mirrored in the behavior of others. So, if you do have a toxic person in your life that you have to deal with, try and find out what triggers you about their toxic behavior towards you and then start working on that issue. There is no point in wondering if the other person will change or if they are aware of what they are doing. They are on their own journey and they might come around again at a later point. Friends find a way back into friendships, couples re-kindle, and family bonds are strong. Accept the fact that for now you are not vibing on the same frequency and continue working on yourself and your life.

You always have the choice to learn from any experience that you are confronted with.

The toxic person came into your life to teach you an important lesson: to evolve and grow into the best version of yourself!

Lots of hugs,

E